Mariah Carey is a Girl on Fire

by Afrah Richmond

At least a $250,000 wedding dress is on fire in the video for her new single, “I Don’t.” While this does not quite match the high art of Angela Bassett throwing her cheating husband’s clothes on the lawn in “Waiting to Exhale,” Mariah’s scene still works as a moment of catharsis. Most people just have the option of ghosting or deleting pictures of their ex. Mariah took the appropriately dramatic option of burning the wedding dress.

As it has breathlessly been documented, Mariah Carey was engaged to the billionaire, James Packer. Side note: once, you can add “billionaire” to your LinkedIn profile, no additional info is necessary. She is presumably burned her wedding dress that she would have worn to their opulent nuptials. It was a relationship upgrade for both people. 

Alas, the love story of our once and future elusive chanteuse and her businessman is not meant to be. Don’t cry for Mariah. She already has another boyfriend, Bryan Tanaka, waiting in the wings. He has some updating to do to his LinkedIn because he recently received a promotion from Mariah’s backup dancer to co-creative director. In a possibly-staged love triangle shown on “Mariah’s World,” Tanaka has been there all along to soothe her burning desires.